Ever have one of those days when you go crazy and lose your mind? I did. Last night. One word: Juicing. I’ve decided to embark on what has become my twice yearly cleanse. It’s a difficult thing for someone who … Continue reading
I have a love/hate relationship with technology. I adore my phone and I’m like a moth to a flame with amazing televisions. If you sit me in front of a good plasma, like a 5-year-old, I may not even notice you in the … Continue reading
Those of us who have had the pleasure of online dating understand the importance of a great username and killer profile. No, I’m not referring to the young gentleman who put pictures of themselves with guns in their profile. Although, … Continue reading
It’s been a long week. I’m drained. I’ve put my house up for sale and while I’m excited about it, I also realized, I’ve got a ton of crap! I don’t know about you all, but it takes me forever … Continue reading
Dating is exhausting. Online dating is draining. I’m weary. I’m approaching the end of my 3 month ‘online dating cage match experience’. Not unlike many people’s first three months of having a child (no sleep, worn out- or so they tell me), … Continue reading
Ok. I messed up. I admit it. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. I’m an idiot. “Mr. 1800′s Moustache” emailed me again. You may remember his emails from my post yesterday. No? Ok- take a … Continue reading
After reviewing some of my posts, I realized that maybe I need focus on giving some credit to the online dating community. I don’t want to sound like a Negative Nelly and I truly am I’m thankful that I’ve met some … Continue reading
“Why are YOU online dating?” “How is it possible that you are still single?” “Why are you still single?” These are some common questions I get while online dating or out on first dates. Which, I think, is usually a compliment. … Continue reading
Today, let’s visit eHarmony and take a stroll down memory lane from this last month. eHarmony. Well, popcorn man , my love life is in your hands. You know my latest read books, my witty profile and the top … Continue reading
I digress. Being single for so long, I couldn’t help but wonder…am I set in my ways? Am I too use to having thing my way all the time? Is there room in my life? Am I being too picky? Keeping those things in mind, let’s revisit some of my dating pursuits for the week.
The Match.com week has been a busy one. I feel like one could have a full time job just being on Match.com. It’s a lot of work telling people you’re really not interested and how dare they contact you. It’s just plain draining.
That being said, I’ve agreed to a conversation with one young gentleman. He spoke a lot about sports and asked if I was dedicated to watching. All I could picture in my head was guy watching games all the time, sitting in his stained ‘favorite player jersey’ week after week. No. No, I don’t follow sports. I’m being honest here people. Nice enough, but seemed to complain about how women didn’t seem to ‘know what they wanted’. I replied “what do you mean?”. It seems that when he called them after their date, they never returned his call. Well, Sherlock Holmes, let me decode that for you…they simply were not interested. Oh, yea…and neither am I. Mystery solved.
Gentlemen…please, please put up some good pictures. The pictures of you in a dirty bathroom with an open bathtub, steel rod and no shower curtain, snapping a self portrait…no good. The pictures of you with cans of Budweiser all around you, looking like you’re at a frat party at age 40? Oh yea, you’ve got the pulse on women. We LOVE that and think it’s hot. In case you’re wondering…the sarcasm is so thick I need to put on boots. You should NOT be proud of this. Least of all when you’re wearing your favorite ‘team’ jersey. I don’t buy Giselle’s clothing line thinking I’m her. Wearing Tom Brady’s jersey isn’t helping you either.
Moving on to another young buck who is outrageously good looking. Sadly, I agreed to a conversation because of said young buck status. I know, I know…but I’m in recovery mode. Cut me a little slack. After sending me a few boring and useless text messages, I’ve realized that the old stereotype of good looking and dumb has certainly proved true again. Ugh, figures. What a waste of a good looking man. You just can’t recover or get past dumb. I’ve tried. Trust me on this.
Another handsome gentleman kicked off an introductory email telling me that he’d like to have kids in the near future. Wow. Ok, some women might be into that, but can we maybe talk or get a drink before we decide to get me knocked up? Just wondering…
In the battle of the online dating sites…let’s move along to eHarmony.
The field is grim. Grim I tell you! As I’m being ‘matched’ with potential suitors, I realized that on some days, I only get one match to my inbox. Really? In Dr. Warren’s whole damn dating pool only one person a day is a potential match for me? I realize that I may not be Charlize Theron, but I’m not a troll either. When I get said ‘matches’ they turn out to be 5’6″, appear to be still living at home and all accountants. I went through a huge “personality profile’ test and this is who Dr. Warren thinks I’m most compatible with? Dr. Warren…this shit isn’t working. Are we sure he’s a real Dr. and not making popcorn instead because I think he’s full of hot air. Prove me wrong Dr. Warren or I better get a lifetime supply of free popcorn.
- That being said, I’ve had a few of attractive and intelligent gentleman contacting me. I’ve sent said bachelors pictures over to my friends who replied “They all look alike. Very handsome, but I thought it was the same person”. What? Oh…wow. You know, she’s right! But, I must say…they do look damn handsome in their pictures. I have been fooled before though. So, we’ll see. Communication is going well, easy, fun and light. We’re moving on to the conversation stage. This is where it could get a little squirrelly…can they form coherent and complete sentences? Or just a series of grunts and clicks? Stay tuned…