If you can’t make me skinny, please make my friends fat.

I feel like a stuffed pig.  It started last month for my birthday and seems to have rolled on through the holidays. 

I look good in pink

 So, today I begin my pre-training week back at the gym full-time.  Yes, I need a week to ramp up as I’m afraid I’ll shatter something with my inactivity.

At least I'm AT the gym, right?

As of Jan 3rd, I start back training again for races, triathlon and generally trying to take off the layers of blubber I gained these last two months.  Seriously, I could roll right into my frozen lake and be buoyant and warm with all this holiday heft. Throw a piece of live fish at me, I’ll roll over on my belly and probably eat it.  That’s just silly though.  I’d have to get off the couch for that.  Pretty, I know.

All that yumminess and freedom of the past few months of eating is gone.  Now, I love food and I love to eat.  You should know this about me.  I LIVE FOR IT. 

Which now means the next few weeks of getting back on schedule and eating well is like detox for me.  Nothing rings in the new year like cleansing carbs and sugar out of my body.  It’s worse than heroin withdrawal.

You think I’m kidding?  It’s going to be like stages of detox.  First excited.  After all, nothing feels as great as being fit and healthy.  Except maybe heroin.  But I have not tried that, so I’ll go with healthy living for right now. 

Then the sweats as I try to rid my arteries of the 6 pounds of pate it’s trying to pass.  Followed by the shakes (and sadly not the chocolate ice cream variety) ,lots of anger and crying.  Good Times.  Good times.


Not unlike dating, this is my food cage match.  Maybe I should try P90X again?  I mean, this looks like he got some serious results.  Plus, I need a tan.





8 thoughts on “If you can’t make me skinny, please make my friends fat.

  1. Your blog post is a true reflection of the withdrawal you’re surely feeling – LOL big time. Breathe as you shake from the symptoms . . . this too will pass (as you renew your intention to pass on all the indulgences of recent Xmas past!) Breathe, focus – you’re already on your way. Hey BTW – would love to train with you; do you think I could ever do a tri? It’s been on my mind. Let me know if you know of some beginner training groups or programs I could look into.

    1. I absolutely think you could do a tri. There are lots of beginner groups and there are several races that Max Performance triathlons puts on that would be perfect. They have newbie groups. The girls are so supportive and helpful. They also pair you with a buddy to help out getting through the first race jitters. I’d be happy to do one with you! 🙂 I think you’d be great to try a sprint tri and you’d love it!

  2. OMG, your blog made me laugh! I too have gained the holiday pounds and am going into Health Detox. So I will slowly step away from the See-food and eat everythign on it table….

  3. Ha! Here’s to another year of road races and triathlons with friends. And another year of yummy cupcakes and French fries for me! Yes, I am a cold hearted beeeaaatch, but that’s how I show how I care ;).

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