Like a fat kid out in dodgeball

New Year.  New Blog.  New Boyfriend.  My online dating cage match has ended. 

My fellow readers, you’re probably thinking…”But, what about all the horrific, train wreck dating stories that could only be found here or in Ripley’s Believe it or not?”  This is a valid point.  It must also be noted that my boyfriend found this blog, so I’m sure after reading the epic train wreck of horror that is this site, he’ll be disgusted and I’ll be single and back online dating faster than a fat kid out in Dodgeball.  

Fear not my twisted followers!  For my epic next journey begins…So, let’s kick this shit off right.

After 7+ years being the Chief Executive Officer and founder of a software company, I’ve decided to move on.  Yea, pick your jaw off the ground, I’m not a TOTAL idiot.  Ok, I am a total idiot, but I can pull it together for brief business stints during the day.

I’m also selling my home in the suburbs.  Yes, I am a home owner and I don’t live in assisted living or a mental health facility like you may have assumed.

This is an actual shot of me after I wake up from a nap.

Let’s recap on the beginning of 2012.  Unemployed?  Check.  Homeless?  Check.  Mental breakdown?  Check.

I know, you’re thinking,  ‘wow, what a catch’.  Wait, what was that sound?  Oh, that was the door slamming as my boyfriend runs away after seeing this all spelled out for him.

Alright, so I’m still winding down my company and waiting for my house to sell in this fabulous sellers market.  People are just beating down the door to pay double the asking price.   I’m wondering if the sarcasm on that last part comes through clearly enough?

When explaining this scenario to others, I think that this is a fabulous new time in my life for making a change.  Exploring new career options and living somewhere new.  The opportunity for bold new adventures.  Oh, wait, that’s Wonder Woman.  Crap.  Well, you get where I’m going. 

Being the incredibly sensitive and compassionate person that I am, I always like to put myself in other people’s shoes.  I think of how my story may sound to others and my thoughts would be “holy cow, that chick is totally checking out of life. Is she going through a midlife crisis?  Did she forget her meds again?”

To that, I gently respond…’Who the f^&% asked for your opinion?’  Oh, wait….

So, my blog turns to my next life adventure of seeking my next career (the job hunt), seeking to sell my current home, find my next home (the home hunt) and most likely seeking some kind of therapy.

and so the hunt begins…

Care to join me?
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