“Like Champagne and High Heels, One Must be Prepared To Suffer For it”

It’s official. Flats ARE evil. I’ve actually PROVEN it this morning. Allow me to present my thesis to you.

She seems to really love her flats.
She seems to really love her flats.

Attention/Notice All Men: Before all of you men run fleeing from this blog like it’s Miley twerking with Steve Buschemi, I’ll do my best to insert some male relevance into this blog.

Something for the men: Stripper Pole included!  May not be classy, but still better than flats
Something for the men: Stripper Pole included! May not be classy, but still better than flats

You know I love my booze. I do, but let’s talk about my love of shoes.

Tip #1:  Combine your loves.  It's important to note that some of the better shoe stores serve booze while shopping.
Tip #1: Combine your loves. It’s important to note that some of the better shoe stores serve booze while shopping.

To Clarify: I’m tall and love heels. Sure, while wearing some heels, that does put me into the transvestite height category. Sadly, being honest, I don’t pull it off as well as they do!

At least she's wearing heels.  Notice her not so bright friend with the terrible flats at Ass range.  Hmm, not smart on several fronts.
At least she’s wearing heels. Notice her not so bright friend with the terrible flats at Ass range. Hmm, not smart on several fronts.

Since my live-in lover is actually shorter than me and we are partaking in travels this weekend, where walking will be involved, I decided to look for flats. Holy shit…did I JUST SAY THAT? Medic!

It's helpful when walking is easier
It’s helpful when walking is easier

After looking at the bleak selection of what I consider to be plain, boring and bland, I decide to make this a win/win situation. I’ll go all “Working Girl” during my travels. Flats can fit into my bag, right?

Holy Jersey!
Holy Jersey!

I mean, when shopping, I’m just drawn to heels. They make everything look better.

See what I mean.  Although with legs like that, she'd probably look good barefoot.
See what I mean. Although with legs like that, she’d probably look good barefoot.

I’ve done it. I’ve gone to the dark side. I purchased flats. I wore them today for a maiden voyage. These things SUCK!! Sure, heels can get super uncomfortable, but within 5 minutes, my feet were hurting.

dark side

Conclusion: WTF! They look bad and they hurt? No thanks. These puppies are going back!

This is what I NOW think about flats!
This is what I NOW think about flats!

What do you all think? Flats or Heels?
heels

* Quote: Arnold Bennett

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