“Like Champagne and High Heels, One Must be Prepared To Suffer For it”

She seems to really love her flats.

It’s official. Flats ARE evil. I’ve actually PROVEN it this morning. Allow me to present my thesis to you. Attention/Notice All Men: Before all of you men run fleeing from this blog like it’s Miley twerking with Steve Buschemi, I’ll … Continue reading

The only thing this juice diet has cleansed me of is my will to live.

Maybe juicing will take away the pain of the Star Wars Prequels.

Ever have one of those days when you go crazy and lose your mind?  I did.  Last night.  One word:  Juicing. I’ve decided to embark on what has become my twice yearly cleanse.  It’s a difficult thing for someone who … Continue reading

You make me feel like Cinderella, if she were cheap and boozy.


  It’s been a long week.  I’m drained. I’ve put my house up for sale and while I’m excited about it, I also realized, I’ve got a ton of crap!  I don’t know about you all, but it takes me forever … Continue reading

Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?


Dating is exhausting.  Online dating is draining.   I’m weary. I’m approaching the end of my 3 month ‘online dating cage match experience’.   Not unlike many people’s first three months of having a child (no sleep, worn out- or so they tell me), … Continue reading

Thanks for the photo. It makes me want to dump Clorox in my eyes.


Ok.  I messed up.  I admit it.  It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last.  I’m an idiot. “Mr. 1800’s Moustache” emailed me again.  You may remember his emails from my post yesterday.  No?  Ok- take a … Continue reading

Since the Keebler Elves aren’t available…


“Why are YOU online dating?”  “How is it possible that you are still single?” “Why are you still single?” These are some common questions I get while online dating or out on first dates.  Which, I think, is usually a compliment.   … Continue reading